|This is the first Christian book unconditionally guaranteed to help you feel good about yourself, make everyone you meet instantly want to be your friend, overcome addictions and co-dependencies, lose 30 lbs. in 30 days, cause your daughter to break up with that drug dealer she's been shacking up with, pinpoint the week in which the Rapture will occur ("no man knows the day or the hour") and give you a deep and intimate
relationship with Jesus without adding daily devotionals, prayer, reading the Bible or helping the poor to your already busy schedule. All this can be yours in one week, in just 60 seconds a day. Millions who have purchased this book have experienced dramatically changed lives without even reading it, or doing any thinking of any kind. Hundreds of millions of copies of this book have already been sold in over 104 languages, and recent NASA probes on
six different planets have distributed this book to fossil evidence of amino acids -- the very building blocks of life! Now in a handy pocket-sized edition, you too can experience the joy that all the galaxy is talking about.
Also available for PDA.
OK, everything in that paragraph is a lie. I read somewhere that that's what I would need to promise in order to have a best-selling Christian book.
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