As a result of attendance in October of Gothard's "Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts" seminar, I made a decision to leave the Catholic Worker in Santa Ana and move out to Desert Hot Springs with my parents. This has been their request for years, and I believe the wise thing to do is to honor their request (Exodus 20:12)

But believing in my head that Gothard is right in his Patriarchal "getting under authority" doctrine and believing in my head that I should move in terms of my parents desires, does not mean that I have either will-power or optimism. I am completely indecisive, halting between two positions (I Kings 18:21).[1]

As I write today, I feel overwhelmed by a lack of direction. The bold announcement of a "Project," a "Pomelo Project," referring to the house of books on Pomelo Dr. in Desert Hot Springs, seems quite presumptuous. I am reminded that when I first joined the Catholic Worker over five years ago, I had definite plans to be there for one year, and then return to my writing, which would be improved by the vast wealth of wisdom and insight I would have gained by my stay at the Worker. After the year was up, I still didn't feel wise and full of insight, but felt a desire to get back to the writing, and while everyone else made momentous one-year commitments of even of two years more, I continually said I didn't think I was going to be around much longer, but continued to be there.[2]

But I do need to leave.

I don't have true intellectual freedom at the Worker. I feel pressure against my fundamentalistic belief in the Bible. There are lots of liberal, modernist, new age, socialist tendencies in the Worker. It's not my movement, so I don't feel free to change it. That's probably more in my head than reality. They are probably more open than I give them credit for. But there has been enough resistance that if I want to really open up the throttle and begin a substantial effort to propagate the "Vine & Fig Tree" vision, I can't do it at the Worker.

But what is so important about "intellectual freedom." Is this just the freedom to argue and be contentious? Is it the desire to have others bow down before me and admit that I am "right"?

There is much at the Worker that I resist giving up; the contrasts between what I have at the Worker house and what I would have at the Pomelo house are striking. I begin each day with three other compassionate, at-least-nominally-Christian, anarchists reading the Scriptures and praying. We get into some good discussions of the Lectionary's texts, and praying with others is better than only praying by myself. The day is spent with these anarchists, talking, greeting each other when we return from errands, doing a million things together to help extend the Kingdom of God in some small way. Just passing someone in the hallway as we go our different ways is a contact which I know I would miss in the lonely Pomelo house. Compared to the thought of living alone, I actually like having to brush my teeth in a sink I share with someone else. Then there are 15-20 other people in the house as well, each with unique personalities, each with a smile,[3] and it's hard to imagine living in a house in the desert with no one else at all. This house is just about the funnest house I can imagine.

Each day we pray, "Give us this day our daily bread." I've never eaten better than at the Worker. We get such a wide variety of foods donated, and a wide variety of chefs to prepare them -- each guest has a dinner night. People from Guatemala cook differently than people in America, and I love the difference. Although I've learned a tremendous amount about cooking in the last five years, not just how to cook for two hundred, but how to spice things up so the food is really really good, I know that I'm too lazy to get up from the computer or my stack of books to cook for myself. I would cook for others, but I hate cooking for myself. Maybe I know that I'm a grump who wouldn't appreciate it anyway. When I finally start to get dizzy from not eating (literally, this is what happens) I throw some corn flakes down my gullet. If I'm feeling particularly creative, I'll mix up some Campbell's soup. Dinner time won't be the same.

But I want to propagate the vision.

Still, I Sometimes feel chest pains, like I'm about to have a heart attack, when I think about moving out to the book house. I feel such intense loneliness, and I know I'm going to miss everyone at the house in Santa Ana. And it's scary thinking about some things I want to do in the desert. That's why I still haven't moved out there, even though I first published this "update" back in October, announcing my decision to do so. One thing I want to do, in addition to the writing, is to challenge head-on a practice which the Bible calls an "abomination." I believe that it is the cause of the poverty I dealt with at the Worker. It is the means by which the violence of the military (which we protested so frequently) is fueled. It is the lifeblood and heart of the State which is brainwashing us, seducing us, destroying us. It is a debased currency. My first step will be to write all the banks in Desert Hot Springs, asking them if they engage in currency debasement. The letter which follows is a draft of my approach. I hope this will provide me with some interesting admissions, information which I can use in my on-going challenge.

Next, I intend to go door-to-door to talk with everyone in this small town about Jesus and the Kingdom -- in terms of their finances and the things they are most worried about in our nation.[4]

While other missionaries are seeking donations (the JW's want a dime for their Awake!) I'll tell them I'm here to give them a dime! I'll show them an old beat up dime[5] and a brand new, straight-from-the-bank 1994 dime, and ask them which they would prefer: a gift of contemporary debased currency -- a post-1965 dime -- or a gift of Honest Money -- a pre-1964 dime. I will explain to them the difference between the two coins, and why the State tries to cover up the difference.

I intend to have lunch with or start up a conversation with every merchant in the city. I will make the same offer to them. My gift to them will be the coin of their choice. If they choose a pre-1964 dime, I will congratulate them and explain the predicament in which Deuteronomy places me: I cannot ethically give them post-1965 currency. We will establish some sort of relationship, either one of transacting our business in Biblically-approved currency, or if they're not comfortable with that, I'll offer them a 10-20% premium: I'll add 10-20% onto the bill each time I do business with them.

I am reminded of people like Franklin Saunders, a reconstructionist in Tennessee who feels that most reconstructionists are softies, and started his own gold bank. One morning, in a pre-dawn raid, a half-dozen Tennessee Revenue Agents, 4 or so IRS and 3 or 4 CID agents, and 5 or 6 who-knows-what dressed in Ninja suits broke down his door, lined his family up against the wall, confiscated his computer and disks, etc., then took his family off to different jails, him for 3 days. Of course, no charges were ultimately made, I suspect. I have some other stories about Gold Bugs biting the dust. And then there's Waco. I feel like somebody has to say something about a national abomination. But I'm scared and lonely. I'm more of a hard-core anarchist and fanatic than they are.

My goal is to establish a "Theonomic oasis" in the desert, cultivating personal relationships with many people, in a courteous, non-threatening spirit, becoming "all things to all men, that I might by all means save some" (1 Cor. 9:19,22). The gift of the dime and the 10% bonus (restitution) serve as "evangelistic bribery":

Proverbs 17:8 A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.

Proverbs 18:16 A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.

Proverbs 19:6 Many will entreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.

Proverbs 21:14 A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.

The conversation? The enclosed materials reflect some of the things I would like to talk about. In a nutshell, The Kingdom of Christ vs. the kingdom of Satan:

NOTES

2. I gained a reputation of being the "Stanley Vishniewski of the Orange County Catholic Worker," a reference to a young man who joined the New York Catholic Worker back in the 30's, continually asserted that he was only going to be there for a short time, didn't know how long he was going to stay, and ended up being there for thirty-five years. Burn-out rate is high; very few people last five years in the Catholic Worker. I think that of the 5 or 6 Houses that have spun off the L.A. House, I've been around the longest, excepting of course Jeff Dietrich who started the L.A. House 25 years ago (and his wife Catherine). Maybe I'm so burned out I don't even have the energy to leave!

3. (maybe it's brown-nosing, since I have the power to kick them out)

4. See the next page: conservatives are worried about homosexuality, crime and the new world order. These things are funded by the currency debasers. Liberals are worried about the poor, about the military. Again, the concrete solution is the money system. (The root solution is, of course, conversion of the heart.)

5. informing them that because it's so beat up, it has absolutely no numismatic value (if they went to public school I'll explain that that means no coin collectors will pay for it to add to their collection).